Letters From Boot Camp

Training Day 60. New Years Day

2009-07-14T09:30:00.001-06:00

This will probably be my last letter since there isn't much more to write about. I welcomed in the New Year by converting to Catholicism, which is exciting. We just have a few more things left and that's it for us. 171 question test, final drill, prac app test (over first aid) and the Battalion Commander's inspection. I'm not too worried about any of them.

I'm looking forward to visiting, though I have no idea what to do with my uniforms and stuff. I also can't wait to get to my MOS school and then to my first duty station. I'm going to try to get stationed in the base in Okinawa, Japan. I hear it's pretty deployable, though, but that doesn't really matter. We're all going to go to war no matter where we're stationed, except for the bitches who go get pregnant so they don't have to go, and then a good Marine has to go in their place.

That doesn't make sense to me. Marines belong with Marines; it doesn't matter where you are, or if you're alive, or if you're dead; your brothers and sisters will make sure you stay with them, where you ought to be.

Now that it's almost over, I'm looking back and I remember when it was TD5 and I looked forward to now and thought it was an impossible, long way away and I'd made a mistake joining. Now I'm glad I joined. I'm getting to look at the world in the way I wanted to look at it but couldn't easily describe. Yea, not all Marines are perfect or how I expected, but some are, and that's what I'm here for - the intangibles that your recruiter can't bribe you with. I'm here for John Basilone, who died for his buddies on Iwo Jima, and Dan Daly who yelled the infamous, "C'mon you sons of bitches, do you want to live forever?" I'm here for the Marines who were killed when an IED blew up their convoy, and for the ones who didn't stop to think about the grenade - they jumped over it. I'm here for honor and courage and commitment, and I DO love the Marine Corps. Everything has a significance, even our seven belt loops (for the seven seas), because nothing can be considered insignificant; it might save your life somehow.

I'm also glad to be here for how we look at the war. It's easy to judge a war that you see on TV from your couch, but civilians aren't over there dying. Yes, Saddam is dead but he was only a tiny piece. They get to see all of the bad things that happen but the media doesn't cover anything good. They'll show our mistakes in a heartbeat but not the schools that are being built, not how we are training their troops, they don't see how hard we work; they want us home and we want to be home, but that's not how the world is, and when we adapted and overcame, they sat on their butts and bitched about it.

So who is really wrong here?

Oltman out, yo.

Training Day 58. Post Crucible.

2009-07-13T15:43:00.000-06:00

There are many things that can and cannot be said about the Crucible, but now I understand why, when we asked senior platoons what is was like, all they would say is, "It's an experience."

On one hand, it wasn't what I expected. Somehow I expected it to be…harder? No. While you were doing the events you sometimes thought, "I thought it would be harder," but looking back I realize that was only due to sheer adrenaline, because we are all broke off, exhausted, and ready to do it again.

You did everything in teams of 18-22 people, each of which had one DI and one recruit as team leaders. The DIs mostly weren't DIs, just regular Marines mostly - they lost their DI mask for the event and it was cool. The teams themselves were picked alphabetically, so there I am as Teams 1 and 2 get assigned, listening for my name for Team 3, "Ledwell, Minck, Munoz, O'Keefe, Peters, Polodna…" I'm like, "Wait, where's my name?" Turns out there was a special Team 6, run by both Senior DIs from Platoons 4000 and 4001, comprised of the top nine of each platoon. As SDI Sgt Renteria said, "Now this team is obviously stacked." Us: "AYE Ma'am!" Renteria: "They said I had to have a team, and I don't want any drama. You know what to do, so get it done."

Them basically they let us do our thing, and with handpicked members it was AWESOME. The whole Crucible is like a combo of the Obstacle Course, the Confidence Course, endurance courses and hiking trails, except all the events are taller, higher, longer, and harder. Several of your teammates are 'casualties;' we have weapons and gear and have to cross the events with ammo cans, water jugs, barrels and people in stretchers.

The hardest part is that it just went on and on and on. Each day consisted of 19 1/2 hours of patrolling, climbing, hoisting each other, and crawling under barbed wire and through sand. One half hour was "field weapons maintenance." The remaining 4 hours were called "sleep time" but all that really meant is that the lights were out and we were tactical (silent with hand signals) while we reapplied cammie paint, fixed our gear and our feet, ate our limited MREs, took 30 minute rifle watches, made head calls and talked (um, tactically?). We were all exhausted, yes, but you sort of get to where you're so busy you don't notice.

It.
Was.
Awesome.

So both nights were 23:00 - 3:00 minus getting ready and packing our gear time. The last morning was a quick 10-mile hump back to the squad bay to Warriors Breakfast. Basically, it's what the males get to eat, only awesome! Real bacon, sausage, ice cream, hot chocolate, cake, bagels, muffins, omelets … soooo gooood.

So a lot of the other teams were extremely jealous that we had both SDIs AND the Gunny. We got candy (once) and they thought we had it really easy because the DIs weren't being that hard on us. This was totally untrue, though. They weren't that hard on us because we were doing EXCEPTIONAL though the Crucible - unlike any other team, we were completing nearly every obstacle within the time limits (female recruits usually don't). And we were doing exceptional because, think about it. The team representing the Senior Drill Instructors and the Series Gunnery Sgt HAS to do well. There was no other option for us if we didn't want to DIE later at the hands of the DIs for not impressing their bosses. We literally ran our asses off, but while we were more physically broke off than the other groups, I will say that they could be jealous of us mentally. No drama in our team, no bickering, positive attitudes all around. We were loving it.

The second day we did pugil sticks against Team 5, and I have never seen such aggressive behavior. SDI warns us "I don't want to see any wussy fights" and then we notice all these officers are out to watch - the Series Commander 1st Lt. Griswold, the Company Commander Captain Hasley, the Company 1st Sgt. Sanderson, Gunny Hilton and both SDIs. So we knew we had to put on a show. And we did. The officers were LOVING it. We beat the shit out of each other.

Christmas Day. Training Day 54.

2009-07-10T11:26:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas Mom and Dad! Boot camp ends in just two and a half weeks, and it's kinda weird. They say that we'll all suffer from boot camp withdrawal, and I believe it. I'm already feeling fat and lazy with this holiday and that was only two days of the DIs giving us a half-break. Imagine NO DIs! We got five hours - four in the morning and one in the evening - on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to watch movies, pack for the Crucible, shower, square ourselves away, AND got good chow AND an extra 1 1/2 hours of sleep AND the DIs are relaxed AND we haven't PTed or exercised or gotten quarterdecked or drilled, and I'm bored out of my mind. I'm totally ready to do SOMETHING but after the Crucible boot camp is pretty much winding down.

You know what I'll really miss is hearing the DIs sing to their platoons. It's the best in the mornings. We get out of the house and form it up on the catwalk; it's early morning and all dark and quiet, and a little chilly, and all across the island you can hear the drill instructors singing the cadence ("left…left…left, right" only it sounds like "loeft…loeft… a-loeft right..a loeft right…"), a lot of voices far away singing and calling their platoons. It's kind of … I'm not sure how to explain it. When you're in formation you listen to that one voice, even if another DI calls a command nearby you have to know whether to respond or not, and it's this stability thing. They say, "Drill is about discipline. If you have discipline you can drill" but it's also about trust. That voice has the singular control over 59 bodies, 59 bodies who respond immediately and without question to the voice's calls. The DI calls from behind the platoon, so if we're getting closer and closer to something, we have to trust that the DI knows when to turn us. Drill teaches instance obedience without question - you hear the order and execute it, because just like REAL orders, if you don't you'll mess up the formation, and then go and get your buddies killed in Iraq.

I can see why most Marines don't like most female Marines. A lot of my platoon doesn't really take things seriously -- gaffing off drill, falling asleep in class, not being really into land nav - I guess what the DIs say is really true: A lot of us are going to get into the fleet and make it only because a male carried our packs.

Not me.

Christmas Eve, Training Day 54 (almost)

2009-07-09T09:53:00.000-06:00

Happy Holidays! Today has been a pretty lazy and laid back day. First church, then we got cammie stockings to hang on our racks from some parent, and then we watched The Incredibles.

We had a few movies to pick from and Senior DI was like, Alright, I'm going to let you watch the one that gets the loudest 'Aye ma'am'" and went on to mention that The Incredibles was "an awesome movie" so what other one would we pick? Of course we screamed for that one, and she even broke her bearing and smiled.

Then we made her a throne out of footlockers and blankets.

SDI: … What the hell is that?
Us: A throne, ma'am.
SDI: ……..
Us: *giggling*
SDI: I don't need a throne. I have a throne everywhere I walk.
Us: AYE ma'am!

We could tell she liked it, though.

Training Day 52

2009-07-08T15:43:00.001-06:00

It is wet and cold and all of our things are soaked. Our barracks here at A-line are half outdoors so that doesn't help matters. Nonetheless, spirits are high. We went to the range again, but instead of firing our M16s, we fired 2 other weapons. The first was an AT4, this bazooka like rocket-launcher that actually wasn't nearly as cool as it looked. The second, though - oh God, the second. This beautiful gun was called an M249. It's about the same size as the M16 though not nearly as pretty. It fires automatically. We were supposed to fire in couple-second bursts, but after a little I got carried away and just shot all my rounds off continuously. The range officers thought this was hysterical. I think they found me refreshing, as most of the other girls were firing in 1-2 burst shots.

Who, when given a SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon, aka machine gun), fires only 1-2 rounds in one burst? It was AWESOME!

Training Day 47

2009-07-07T10:01:00.000-06:00

Actually Training Day 47 ish-51 ish. It's A-line, where we fire combat-style. I actually don't like it as much as marksmanship but it's still fun. We shoot in full gear - kevlars, flak jackets, full muster war gear - which makes it awkward at best. My flak jacket is way too huge so it's weird. And heavy.

Training Day 46

2009-07-06T09:21:00.002-06:00

DI Sgt. Collins is back from her leave and it's great because she is awesome. She's super-strict but in a good way. Some DI's make you do stupid things, but when she does shit to us you can see the reason for it and you learn from it. Yesterday and the day before we had three extra DIs. One's still at DI School, training. It was INSANE. We spent the entire square away time frozen because people in my platoon are idiots. The extra DIs didn't let us get away with shit. It was totally cool. I was mostly squared away but they did call me on the Irish Pendants (little strings and threads) on my cammies.

I'm looking forward to seeing you guys. I have a stress fracture in my foot that is KILLING me but I'm not saying shit. I'm 90% certain that stress fractures are automatic drops and not a snowball's chance in hell am I letting myself drop. I just suck it up and roll my foot when I walk. The DI's haven't said anything yet.

Morgan's Letter

2009-07-04T21:07:00.002-06:00

Now here's a copy of the letter to Morgan describing what happened to the little knitted platypus Morgan sent her.

Dear Morgan:

I'm sending this letter to you through my mom who hopefully has your addy because I don't have time to tell this story twice.

So I get your package, right, and since we're not supposed to get anything but letters I get in the "I'll be putting my stuff in a bag with my name on it" formation during mail call. I open the package and there's the book and the platypus. I didn't really have time to think - I chucked the book under a desk and turned in the platypus. (I had to turn in something because they knew I got a package, but I wished later I'd done it the other way around). My DI sees what I have and of course takes the bag. I later go back and get the book but I'm wondering how I'm going to get my platypus back. There's NO WAY the DI's will let me have it but I like to maintain positive control of my belongings. Eventually I come up with a plan and when it's our senior drill instructor's duty night I act. I go up and bang on her hatch.

Me: *bang bang bang*
SDI: What?
Me: Good evening ladies! Excuse Recruit Oltman, Senior Drill Instructor Sgt. Renteria ma'am!
SDI: WHAT?!?!
Me: Recruit Oltman requests permission to have her spirit animal for devotions ma'am!
SDI: Your spirit animal?
Me: Yes ma'am. This recruit was sent it in the mail for devos ma'am.
SDI: Stand by.

She's never seen anything like this before. She rummages around in the footlocker where confiscated things are kept and when she comes back she HURLS it to the deck and goes, "I don't even WANT to know" and slams the hatch.

So then it's devos and since I said it was a spirit animal, there I am with the platypus on my lap praying over it while everyone around me is cracking up.

Mission: A success. Operation Rescue Platypus (now named Corporal Perry) completed.

Oltman out, yo.

Training Day 44

2009-07-01T17:06:00.002-06:00

Mom, please forward Morgan's letter to her after making a copy for yourself. I didn't want to write it twice. She sent me a book and a tiny knitted platypus for my birthday. Things are good here. A new catch phrase is "You're about dumb," which we got from the DIs and it's hysterical to say to each other.

One thing I didn't mention about the rifle range - and maybe this is what happened with my DI when she thought she saw a rifle off the rack - are the ghosts. I swear they're there. See, there's a river, Ribbon River, that runs by the range. Some years ago during Firing Week a male DI marched his platoon through it during the night and a whole bunch of recruits drowned. The legend has it that they stay on the range and in the barracks at weapons, having never qualified. It would explain some stuff, like the time the fire watch counted an extra body in the racks, and things like that.

The DIs are psycho. Today especially, Sgt. Andrew was fricking NUTS. I'm not sure what her deal is; there's a difference between how the DIs act and you can tell. They all DO the same things - quarterdecking us and so on - but Sgt. Andrew somehow does it further, like the way you'd torture a POW. I'm not sure how to explain it but she has a very unstable vibe. I'm not afraid of nor do I dislike very many people, and I LOVE three of my DIs, but I really dislike and find totally unnecessary Sgt. Andrew. She doesn't even instill discipline in how she goes about doing things, just a lack of motivation. It's stupid.

Ha ha, at Religious Ed, we ran into some new girls and they were like, "We're on Training Day 5" and we just burst out tittering and "Oh man"-ing. Training Day FIVE! Losers. The crazy part is I remember the EXACT SAME thing happening to me when I was at church on TD5. And when they're on TD40 they'll be at church and meet the new TD5 females and titter and …

Nothing changes but the names.

One interesting thing I've gotten from boot camp is the verbal repetition. I LOVE things like that; I always have. They're just sort of reassuring, like how Grandpa and I will be talking about food - he'll always say, "I can almost taste it now" and I always say, "It'll be so good." Things like that I enjoy but unfortunately most people get sick of it so I don't get an opportunity. Here at boot camp though you get all KINDS of it.

DI: Pick 'em up!
Rcts: Boot top high!
DI: Point your toes!
Rcts: To the deck!

DI: Let me hear that –
Rcts: THUNDER!
DI: Let me hear that –
Rcts: BOOM!

DI: Lean back!
Rcts: At the waist!
DI: Lean back!
Rcts: And strut!

DI: Elbows tight!
Rcts: Rifles right!

DI: Walk that tightrope!
Rcts: Left over right!
DI: Walk that tightrope!
Rcts: Tight tight tight!
DI: WALK THAT TIGHTROPE!
Rcts: CRACK THAT WHIP!

DI: Alignments to the-
Rcts: Right!
DI: And cover's to the –
Rcts: Front!

DI: 40 inches!
Rcts: Back to chest!
DI: Four recruits!
Rcts: Side by side!

Anyway, you get the idea. I find it great and very reassuring. Verbal repetition when both parties are happily and intently involved is my … my calming activity or whatever you want to call it, and we get a ton of it at boot camp.

Sunday, day after Training Day 41

2009-06-30T11:41:00.004-06:00

Okay, I didn't want to talk about the rifle range before in case I unked, but since I didn't, let's talk about how fricking AWESOME it was.

So on the first day we did the grouping exercise, which I sucked at because I totally forgot all the fundamentals of marksmanship (correct sight alignment and trigger control) and just shot and it was GREAT! Then the next day we go out and start to work on the course of fire we'll be using on Qual Day and it turns out I don't really suck; my rifle's just weird. While most people have their sights set to 4 clicks right or 3 clicks left, for example, I have to use 28 right before I can hit the target.

Now, usually most people get up there and if they've never really shot before like I haven't they have a hard time. They get really nervous. The PMIs push PMAs (Positive Mental Attitudes) to keep you calm and focused. Me? I never needed mine. I totally forgot about mine. As soon as I was seated down in my position and I looked through the sights, there wasn't anything else there. It was just me and my rifle and the black. I'm a total natural - it was EASY. I can't really explain how it feels. You're like in this zone, and I knew where every shot was going to go. Even the ones where I knew I'd jerked, I knew where they'd hit.

The first course of fire is 15 shots in 20 minutes - 5 sitting, 5 kneeling, and 5 standing. You might go, "Oh, that's easy" but no. By the time you adjust your sling, fix the weapon jams, take your shot, plot your shot, wait for the target to reappear, plot your score, and re-aim, plus change your position every five shots, 20 minutes has gone by and you've still got 'saved rounds' - shots you never fired. The 20-minute slow fire I usually ended at 17 minutes fairly regularly and I was one of the first ones in the 1st relay done.

Next is 200-yard rapid fire from standing to sitting (you stand, load, wait for the target then drop to sitting position, aim and get off 10 rounds). Then they pull the targets and score them. Ten shots in the black is called a 'possible' and is hard. I got a possible on goal day, the only one in 1st relay to have it.

Next we move to the 300-yard line and take five slow fire shots in the sitting position in five minutes then ten rapid-fire shots from standing to prone. During slow fire you usually adjust your sights while you're firing to compensate for the wind.

Finally - and up to here I'd been doing nicely - we go back to the 500-yard line for ten slow fire shots in the prone position in ten minutes. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Black. Black. Black. Black. Then after my 6th shot the target comes back scored with a 2 -- nine shots in the black and one 2. I think the person scoring my target screwed up and marked the wrong shot because I KNOW I shot 10 black, but oh well. My final score was still expert, the highest rating you can get of the four.

220-250: Expert
210-219: Sharpshooter
190-209: Marksman
0-189: Unked!

Hoorah! So yea, I'm pretty pleased with that. Platoon 4000 with 12 unks took the rifle range from Platoon 4001, which had 17. This means we got a trophy and got to keep our series guidon. Losers.

Later that evening I get back to our original squad bay and have to bolt out for chow because the Catholics are going to the Immaculate Conception mass. Sadly I was all alone so I got what that guy I wrote about in my other letter got - "This recruit doesn't have a buddy!" "This recruit is all alone!"

I've been really focused on coming back home, but really it's just ten days of vacation before I go to my new duty station and new home. I'm thinking that after my five years are up I may re-enlist, or maybe come back, during my service work toward a degree, and after try for a job in (classified info removed by editor). It's a long way away though obviously. It's weird though; before I wouldn't be thinking so far in advance but now I am.

Every year I'll have to re-qualify on the rifle range so I think once I'm settled in school in California, I'll look into buying an AR-whatever, the civilian version of the M16. I won't be issued one in school but I'll need one to practice. I fully even intend to become an expert-expert, maybe even be a PMI some day. They really aren't even all that expensive, either, something like $500. Somehow I was thinking that a semi-automatic weapon would be more. It's actually a bit alarming that that rifle can be purchased by any fool with a few hundred bucks in his pocket.

Posting Break

2009-06-30T11:35:00.005-06:00

The blog's editors took a long long posting break there for a while and left this blog to its own devices. We're going to pick back up again and finish posting the letters home.

Training Day 37

2007-03-29T09:27:00.000-06:00

The funniest sight I saw was earlier while we were in formation waiting for everyone to get out of the chow hall. The DI for Platoon 4001 comes running by after a male recruit, and we hear her go:

Gaeddert: Keep saying it!
Male: I'm all alone.
Gaeddert: All by myself!
Male: All by myself!
Gaeddert: All on my own!
Male: All on my own!

We're supposed to travel in pairs everywhere in the rare instances we're without DIs, but he was mustering hot trays (food for rifle watch) back to his squad bay alone. She just kept trotting right on after him. We were giggling and covering it up as coughs.

Sunday, almost Training Day 36

2007-03-22T13:30:00.002-06:00

Sunday is not a Training Day. Last night I dreamed about Dice and the snow, going on a walk down our alley, about family and about food. They were good dreams. Poor little fat puppy.

My shin splints are pretty much gone but that cough is coming back and I'm pretty sure it's developing into some form of pneumonia. I say this based off the fact that 6 people have caught pneumonia so far and more coughs are on the way. My goal is to hold off going to medical until after Saturday. This week as I've said is Firing Week and hell if I'm going to miss THAT, and then Friday is Qual Day, and then Saturday is our 10 mile hump, none of which is really miss-able. I've been kinda doing meditations for it but I only have time in the rack and I keep falling asleep. I think it is getting better though. Last night and the night before I imagined cleaning my lungs out with rifle cleaning gear and that seemed to work pretty well.

One of our girls, Dambert, has a husband in Kilo Company, which is the male company on track (same dates) with us. We ran into him and with the help of some of his platoon mates were able to exchange notes without notice. Talking with males is actually a big risk that you can drop training days for, but we waited until we were on the bus.

Training Day 35

2007-03-20T09:05:00.000-06:00

Sorry the phone call was so early (it was 5:30 a.m.). I had already been up for hours, probably since 2:00 a.m. your time. I almost started crying when Dad picked up the phone but then I was fine. It did make me miss home a lot though. I'm pretty homesick, yea.

Firing week is nearly here, and I received a great quote from the PMI – a lot of people have problems with nervousness on the range, so he said, "You can't make the butterflies go away, but you can make them fly in formation."

There is a lot of drama these days – new squad leaders, people fucking with other people, I now have one of the dumber recruits as a bunkie so I'm fucked, and I'm kinda depressed. I dunno, I'm just sick of all the drama. I was hoping females in the Marines would be different but for the most part they aren't.

We did this MCMAP endurance course on TD 33 a few days ago which was CRAZY. We basically -- okay, it wasn't that crazy. It was fun though. It was a lot of 'field exercises' -- one person was dead, the other had to drag her with a specific carry across the field, low-crawling through mud, etc.

We're losing patience with each other. Example: we got to make some more phone calls home today, with a DI watching the whole time. You may have noticed I periodically would say, "Aye ma'am" because she would make some comment to me about something. The phone call was great! Sorry it was so early. I really have no idea what time it was but I'd guess around 7:00 a.m. my time. At least I got ahold of you. A lot of the girls didn't but that still counts as their phone call.

Anyway, one girl started crying so the DI comes out to where the rest of us are in formation studying and says, "You'd better not start crying your eyes out when you go in there, because that's disgusting. A squad leader too, right, Zaballa?"
Rct. Zaballa: Aye ma'am
DI Sgt. Goodman: You are disgusting.
Us: Aye ma'am

Granted, you have to agree with anything the DI says, but we meant it more. Recruits who make mistakes -- scratch their faces, talk, not go fast enough, open the hatch wrong, don't sound off, etc. -- now punish everyone. The guide and squad leaders all get quarterdecked for it too. We've all decided to 1) get on our faces and get punished with them as a platoon, and 2) keep tabs, and on rifle watches set the offender's rifle from safe to semi so they get watch instead.

Training Day ?? 31 or 32 or something

2007-03-19T09:40:00.000-06:00

I have a headache and get one every night. I'm trying to decide if it's from dehydration or a lack of sodium (overhydration). At this point it's a dead toss up but since I don't have any salt packs I'm hydrating.

Where to start … the DIs. They say the funniest crap. SDI goes yesterday, "At the same time you've covering down (aligning) your footgear, because if you think it's covered then you're probably smoking some form of crack cocaine that I don't know about." DI Sgt. Ambrose decided she was going to spell things out for us while we held our rifles parallel to the deck. SLOWLY! It was brutal.

Ambrose: You … Y… O… U… will…W… I… L… L… get… G… E… T… to… T… O…(and so on, finishing the sentence 'the front of the squad bay when I get done counting. Do you understand?')

She'd stop periodically to yell, "Get them UP!" and "I have to start over because Cobb distracted me. Say 'Thank you, Recruit Cobb.'"

We have our rifle classes in these uncomfortable sheds that have two open walls and a lot of benches. We sit there with our rifles slung and our range belts – canteens, ammo pouch and poncho – at our waste. It's very uncomfortable with the gnats and all and there is sand EVERYWHERE, I swear. It's all over our data books (where we record our shots) and wrecks our inksticks. The classes themselves though are great and our PMI is fantastic. We all went out to test fire on the range and he was like, "When you get out there, just calm down girls. You're going to forget everything you've learned. Ctrl-alt-delete, girls, Be calm." It was totally true. We all shot like crap and it was great! We also got to go to the ISMET – a simulator with real rifles hooked up to air hoses to simulate the recoil. You fire at a screen and the computer figures everything out. I did awesome in it.

The sand. I swear to you, we scuzz the floors 3 times in ten minutes and each time it is like we've never scuzzed before. Huge mounds of sand -- where does it all come from?

It's very hot here, but that's apparently unusual. I don't care too much except for the classroom breaks where we have to run back and forth. One girl has pneumonia. Another might get NJPed for being stupid.

Monday, Training Day 30

2007-03-16T08:26:00.000-06:00

Today was a lot of marksmanship classes and tomorrow we fire a few times. The DIs are super on our asses because we're around male platoons and because we have so much "down time" away from them with our PMIs. SDI (Senior DI) Sgt. Radetsky just gave us a loooooong speech about being professional around everyone. We're gonna be quarterdecked no matter what we do, though. When you're a recruit, even when you're right, you're wrong.

The PMI had us put a boot band and then moleskin on the bridge of our glasses to seat them higher so they are even dorkier than usual.

What else ...

Oh, I did pretty well on the PFT I ran Friday. Dunno if I already mentioned that. 24:43 on my 3 mile run; maxed out crunches at 103 / 2 minutes (you need 100, and I think you need 21:00 for the run, but I finished as one of the first so no one was even close to that). Also I lost my grip on the bar so I was 7 seconds short of maxing the arm hang at 63 seconds. Oh well!

One of our ex-recruits decided to be an idiot today and quit. She got NJPed, and the MPs came and arrested her after she said she'd kill herself, and she had a TOTAL attitude with the SDI. It was ridiculous. Who wastes a month and a half of her life in boot camp only to decide to give up like that? We have basically no sympathy for it. Frickin' Thompson. Rct. Shapiro did the same thing, but back on Forming Day 4 so she didn't waste everyone's time hanging around.

Sunday. Day After Training Day 29

2007-03-15T09:13:00.000-06:00

We've changed into desert cammies and are now at the rifle range. Yesterday we woke up and grabbed our MOLLIE packs filled with our gear and humped out six miles to new barracks. I wish we were back, kinda – the new barracks are tiny and cramped and dirty though I'm sure we'll get used to it. The nice thing is I'm in the middle now not at the end, AND when lights go out it is actually dark. It was the first time I've actually slept until the lights turned on again.

I just found out we have to say ditties like "pink princess" and "prancing ponies" I know I've said. We picked up some new girls – FRPers (Female Rehabilitation Program, where you go if you get hurt or unk and drop) who told us our platoon is the Princess Platoon. Apparently we're called that because our barracks are the largest and nicest ones. Ha ha! Sucks only when we have to clean them. These new barracks take like two seconds to clean.

We eat at the male mess hall when we are here. They get better food than us. One, they get cookies and other goodies because they burn calories faster than we do. Two, the stuff that is the same, like eggs and French toast, is made better. I'm not kidding. So unfair!

Everyone's cranky or something today, even I am. I almost started crying in church and I'm not really sure why. We're just tired, I guess. Word has it we're going to bed at 1900 tonight so we get our required 8 hours of sleep, because tomorrow is Grass Week where we get up EARLY so when the sun comes up we've already eaten and are all set up on the range ready to begin learning. We met our PMI (Primary Marksmanship Leader) finally and he's a very cool guy.

Training Day 26

2007-03-14T08:45:00.000-06:00

Hey guys! The days are flying by! 26 already? It's Thanksgiving today, and it counts as a training day AND a Sunday, meaning we get 5 hours of square away time and go to church if we want. There isn't religious education today so I'm waiting until 10:15 when the Catholics muster for mass.

Yesterday we got fitted for our uniforms – formal ones – and I'm excited about them. No dress blues, but we get the service uniforms – khakis (long and short sleeves) with sort of green slacks and a skirt. A couple of us were in the wrong place at the wrong time and the fitter wrote down our names randomly to give to our DIs, so we got ITed (pronounced eye teed, an acronym we can't figure out, possibly Intensive Training) when we got back, which is another way of saying you got quarterdecked. But that's cool – you get punished randomly a lot. The more I get ITed, the better I'll do on the PFT (Physical Fitness Test) which is tomorrow.

There are a lot of nouns that are "verbed" here, like:
• Quarterdecked: to be put on the quarterdeck and do a bunch of punishment exercises, usually while screaming whatever the DI wants you to scream.
• Unqued: pronounced "unked." To not qualify for something. "She unqued on the rifle range."

Not a lot happened this week. The DIs got into a whole mess of trouble for a couple of times they mistreated us, I guess. I don't think it was any big deal, but apparently they were not supposed to do such things as:
• IT us on Sundays
• Withhold square away time
• Make Rct Monahan eat an entire bag of cough drops because she is a stupid idiot and hid them when we can't have them.
• Shake recruits
• Have us run back and forth with our footlockers

Really, I wish they hadn't done anything about it because it only makes it worse. While stuff like that is a one-time incident, whenever the DIs get into trouble they are harder on us for longer. DI Sgt. Sagullo was the one behind the cough drop thing and she had to go stand before a general, which if I've read my knowledge correctly means she either got NJPed (Non Judicial Punishment) or court-martialed. She's AWESOME so I'm glad she's still around, but she's definitely pissed. They all are. We've spent this whole week tearing up our house and putting it back together and tearing it up again.

Then you have the idiots in the platoon who fuck it up for everybody. Rct. Bonetti and Rct. Thompson never sound off loud enough; Rct. Gangler sounds off with an sarcastic "Aye, ma'am", which is just dumb. Why did you come here if you have an attitude? The infamous duo, Monahan and Lanier, who have repeatedly been caught with food they've stolen (big stuff like pears and bread) are single handedly responsible for most of our messes.

We've lost the series guidon twice now. Platoon 4001 has it because of Lanier's most recent "bread in her valuables bag" incident, so we march behind them. Bastards! We're in Second Phase now so we should be able to blouse our boots (tuck in our pants) but Monahan made us lose that privilege too, so we look like Phase One recruits. It's fine though. We're all at the point mostly where you kinda laugh about it while wanting to kill the onesies and twosies responsible for it.

I had Interior Guard a few nights ago, which was fun. Basically it's a little like rifle watch, only we took up posts outside and patrolled them in pairs with our rifles. We made sure all hatches were secure and I got to yell, "HALT, who goes there?" to a few people. It was just for practice for later when we're out in the fleet, since obviously the only people who are going to be walking around our base at 2300 are officers (once I got "Do you not SEE the black belt?") but I did it anyway since we were told to. It was enjoyable but brutally cold. BRUTALLY COLD. How can it be so freezing and there not be any snow? It must be the humidity and I do not approve.

My handwriting sucks! I'm writing on my lap, that's why. Speaking of excuses, that's a big no-no here. The correct response to anything is: "Aye ma'am", "No ma'am" "Yes ma'am", or "This recruit does not know, ma'am." Often you'll say that and you'll get: "No, recruit! It was not an 'Aye ma'am' question. WHY are you holding your tray like that?"

Do not mistake this question for one that needs a reply! The response to this should remain "Aye ma'am" until the Marine making the inquiry decides what to do with you. Your response is not necessary to or wanted for the decision-making process. Like earlier today the DVD player broke. Since you don't disagree with OR lie to Marines (making tricky situations for recruits) the conversation went like this:

Gunny Hyatt: Why didn't you tell the DI the DVD player broke?
Me: Aye ma'am.
Sgt. Sagullo: Basically what you're saying is you broke the DVD player.
Me: … Aye ma'am (not true, but I was watching it when it broke so yes)
Gunny Hyatt: You did?!?
Me: No ma'am.
Gunny Hyatt: Recruit, which is it? You said yes to her and no to me.
Me: Aye ma'am.

Then they continued on their way after fixing it. That's a pretty regular conversation, really.

I love food still. I never realized quite how much I loved it. I want a cupcake. Or a gummy worm. An Oreo cookie. Oooo, a chocolate chip one! Meat loaf. Strawberries, cherries, chocolate. Ice cream. Pizza. Subway. Burger King. Steak. French fries. Oatmeal. Grilled cheese. BLT. Chicken soup. Buttered noodles. Muffins. Raspberries. Doritoes. A pineapple. Cake. Pie.

The Lunch Box story you're sending is great. I've gotten a few good things like that. One of my friends printed off a few pages of web comics -- nothing thick so they wouldn't check the envelope -- and sent that. It's great. The Onions as packaging were ingenious too. I'm doing great and I really think it has a lot to do with all the support so thanks.

I'm in awesome shape now. I don't know if I could have run for 30 straight minutes before, but now I'm like, "Yea, what? 30 minutes? Pffft, bring it on!" It feels good!

Miss you and hope you're having a good Thanksgiving!

Training Day 24

2007-03-13T08:51:00.000-06:00

A drill instructor is sort of like this dog. There are two types: The drill instructors – the green belts; and the senior drill instructors – the black belts.

The senior drill instructors sort of 'unleash' the green belts onto us with a "Stand by for your drill instructors" and they come running in basically screaming. We're all used to it now. They've lost their bearings in front of us a few times now (i.e. smiled or grinned) and once we caught through a porthole (a window) Sgt. Sagullo kissing a guy.

Today the DIs had us name our weapons. Sagullo was like "And it had better be a good strong name too. Like…like Bob." We crack up and surprisingly all she says is, "That is the only time you're allowed to laugh because I'm about to take you back to the pit for that." She was smiling, though.

Anyway, we were to name them after a guy who has pissed us off so that we slap the rifle around. I already have bruises from smacking mine, which is ideal. So mine is "Alex the M16 A2 service rifle." How funny is that?

Also, I love food.

Training Day 22

2007-03-12T08:04:00.000-06:00

Could you send me maybe four or five packs of those tight metal-less hair bands that we buy? They don't sell those at the PX. Thanks so much. Please use the money I sent to pay yourself back.

I passed Combat Water Survival (CWS) 5 which is the basic and lowest level you need to qualify. It's just swimming in cammies.

CWS 4 was swimming in cammies and boots, and also wading and shallowly swimming in full gear -- Kevlar helmet, rifle, 50-lb pack (it floats sort of, though you can drown real easily if you don't do it right and actually someone did—I'll get to that), and flak jacket. I passed that too.

CWS 3 was the same only in the deep end. We jumped off a five-foot tower into the water with our gear. One guy drowned but they revived him with CPR. Passed.

CWS 2 was with everything BUT the pack. Without the floating pack the gear was too heavy for me and – I'm serious – for 54 of the other 62 recruits who tried. We were all thrown rescue devices, pulled out of the water and told to leave.

Extra classes those are though – CWS4 to CWS1, I mean – so I passed the swimming part. Also got my tan belt in MCMAP (Marine Corps Martial Arts Program) today which means "I know just enough to hurt myself" as they like to put it. This is another graduate requirement. Only a few more and a bunch of days to go!

Doing great! Lots of drama with the other girls, but what do you do.

Love you!

Training Day 20

2007-03-09T09:39:00.000-06:00

Thanks for the hair gel. I don't need any more as we just made a PX call and I bought 3 more bottles. We re-gel our hair several times a day with a LOT of gel. There can be no flyaways and the buns have to look like they are held up by magic—no bobby pins or hair ties or anything else like that can show. So those bottles we go through FAST.

I'm having a good time. We won initial drill, meaning we beat Platoon 4001 (the scores were close – it was 63.7 to 63.5) and will march in front of them with the series guidon (a red flag). It was a moment of victory that awarded us a lot of hell from the DIs, who were making sure we knew nothing had changed and we were still recruits. I'm glad we won though. It would have been a lot worse if we hadn't.

We are in Phase II now and Swim Qual Week has started. It's really not that hard to swim in the water in cammies – they can be sort of filled with air and they kinda float. Anyway, we all jumped off a ten-foot thing into the water, swam 25 meters, etc. Piece of cake. Some girls didn't pass; one somehow almost dislocated her shoulder. Weird.

Rifle range is next week. Gonna go study knowledge now. The test is coming up.

I got like over 100 birthday cards. A class of first graders made me cards too which greatly added to the numbers. And just so you know, the present you sent was great. DI Sgt. Sagullo's exact words were "How cute, Snider. Now start pushing." SUCCESS!

(Rose's mom here: I gift-wrapped a little sample packet of moisturizer that I picked up at Whole Foods, decorated the tiny present with stickers and included it in a letter.)

P.S. Funniest thing just happened. You're supposed to run for any DIs hatch to open it for them. So a DI comes in, looks around and starts to walk out. I go booking it for the hatch and out of nowhere she starts SPRINTING for it. Luckily I beat her. Afterwards everyone in the squad bay just cracked up. I have NO idea why she decided to do that. She didn't say nothing or crack any expression or anything!

Sunday. Not a Training Day. The Day after TD 17.

2007-03-08T12:47:00.000-06:00

Initial Drill and Game Day, where we compete for the series guidon (flag) with Platoon 4001, is only 2 days away. I hope we’re ready. We spent a while drilling this morning. A ditty is something you say aloud or in your head to remember your steps.

DI Sgt. Sagullo: Half step…
Recruits: Pause!
DI Sgt. Sagullo: March!
Recruits: 30-15! (and we start half-stepping)
DI: … Okay, what is my ditty?
Rct. Mulherron: 30-15.
DI: So you take a full 30-inch step, then kick out a 15-inch step. Half of you— I don’t even know what you’re doing. You should kick it out and then pick up a half-step. You prance, like a damn pony. Don’t make me change your ditty to "like a pony."

That would be the best ditty ever!

Then later we turn to square away time and Davey bangs on the DI hatch.

Davey: Good morning ladies! Excuse Recruit Davey, Drill Instructor Sgt. Sagullo ma'am!
DI Sgt. Sagullo: What, Davey?
Davey: Recruit Davey requests permission to know that if these recruits signed the church roster, do they still have to go?
DI: …. Yes.
Davey: Aye ma'am, good morning ma’am.
DI: Davey!
Davey: Aye ma'am!
DI: Are you telling me you're turning into a damn heathen now?

I don’t know why, but it was dead funny.

Religion is an expected thing. "Heathens" have to shut their "fat mouths" and so on to let the rest of us pray and do devotionals etc. properly. Catholics are the best because mass is long. It ends after square away time already ended, so when we get back, the house has already been field-day-ed (thoroughly cleaned) by the other religious recruits who get back sooner. Suckers!

Every Sunday we are weighed in. I'm at 133 lbs now – lost 10 lbs and I swear that I’m eating excessively.

It’s easy to screw things up for everyone. One recruit doesn't do her hair? Then all recruits take down and mess up their hair.

The days are going by fast. Miss you guys.

Training Day 16

2007-03-07T11:18:00.001-06:00

Yesterday November 9 is when I got about 30 cards all at once. They first got passed to me (the DI calls "Snider" and you say "Aye ma'am on the way ma'am" and run up, alligator-slap it, and say, "Recruit Snider, all mail received, aye ma'am, good evening ladies") but after seven or so she got sick of THAT and just started chucking my mail all around the squad bay. Only had time during the square away time to read one or two because I was busy methodically tightening my "A" cammies (a set of dress cammies -- ours are just jungle greens that we iron and starch and never wear) and cleaning my rifle because we had a Senior Drill Instructor Inspection today.

Let's talk about that.

We all stood in line in front of our footlockers at parade rest. One by one – I was like almost last because we are in alphabetical order – The SDI Sgt Radetsky marched up to us. You said, "Good morning ladies, Recruit Snider" and performed a tricky little number with your rifle called inspection arms that basically involved you exactly pulling the bolt to the rear, looking to make sure it's clear, and stopping at port arms (held in two hands). If you fucked it up, you failed the "Rifle Manual" part. If you passed, the SDI took the weapon, inspected it, and asked some questions – I got "What is your rifle serial number?" and "Who is your company first lieutenant?" Then you took back your rifle, executed an about face, she inspected your uniform and moved on.

My scores:
Rifle Manual: Average (this is good)
Knowledge: Above average
Uniform: Average
Overall: Above average

But get this: Most of the platoon either failed or got Below Average and the DIs were PISSED! As soon as the SDI was off deck they flew off the handle. Anyone who failed grabbed all her stuff – seabags, mollie packs, full muster war gear, footlockers, day packs, Kevlar helmets, garment bags, hygiene bags, shoes and boots and DUMPED it all into a mess in the quarterdeck.

As for the rest of us, we tore up the house on command. Racks were stripped, footlockers and other shit moved to the containment area (laundry room/gym) and back again, etc. etc. After an hour or so they relented, kinda, said we had 7 minutes to make everything perfect, and went into the DI house and shut the door.

After that, we went to chow and because it's the Corps birthday, we had cake. The DIs are pissed about that too. We don't rate cake.

We do a lot of echoing. Like if a DI is calling for a recruit, it would sound like:

DI Sgt. Sagullo: Recruit Snider!
Recruits: Recruit Snider! Report to Drill Instructor Sergeant Sagullo as ordered!
Snider: Aye ma'am on the way ma'am!
Recruits: Aye ma'am on the way ma'am!

This is all done to make sure the recruit she wants hears her and she hears they are coming.

Tomorrow we have a 3-mile hike with our gear, and rumor has it tonight the DIs are gonna fuck with our rifles. I seriously love my rifle. I think I've bonded with it, and can't wait for grass week – 7 days of shooting, 7 hours per day!

I wouldn't say I'm enjoying myself, but I sort of am in a weird way. It's not that bad … ha ha someone was sprawled out or something and now we have to spend the rest of square away time standing up. I'm gonna wrap this up since it sucks to write standing.

Write!

Training Day 14

2007-03-06T09:41:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to me! Fifteen minutes after I turned 21 I woke up to start the day.

It was actually a really good day. The major event was the confidence course – a 3-hour obstacle course that involves entirely heights. And amazingly? I was confident! And I successfully completed all the obstacles we got to! Usually I'm terrified of heights but today I did, among other things:

Log climb: Three logs in succession, each set higher than the last, where you climbed on the first one (3 ft high), stood up, LEAPED to land 5 feet forward on your stomach on the 2nd (6 ft high) and did the same for the 3rd (9 ft high) then climbed up on it and dropped down.

Monkey Climb: You scramble up a telephone-pole-like thing that's about 20 feet high then, balancing on a single rope while holding onto another one that's above your head, you cross over a water obstacle. Then you slide down a rope to the ground.

Among others! It was very exciting that I DID it!

Little drill today. We had some classes and at supper I snuck an extra dessert as a birthday present to myself so I had pudding AND jello. I need to study and work out, all the time I can afford.

Training Day 13

2007-03-05T11:17:00.000-06:00

Gas chamber today with CS gas. We got in and the room filled up and it stung along your neck and hands and ears and edges of the mask. There were like 30-35 girls in this smallish room, and they had us do a few things like jumping jacks. That was fine! I was nervous at first even though we practiced taking the mask on and off a lot already, but when I got in I found I was totally ok. We took off our masks, held our breaths, and shut our eyes until they said to put the masks back on. I fucked this up a little and didn't clear my mask properly (you have to exhale hard and hold down a certain spot on the mask) so I breathed a little gas but it wasn't awful. I cleared it in the next breath, and stood calmly by while the girl next to me FREAKED out, didn't put on her mask, collapsed on the floor, then ran for the door. They had to physically restrain her. Sucks to be her. "Failure to follow simple instructions" as the DIs always say.

They dragged in someone else at the start, too. You're going through that chamber whether you want to or not!

After we got out and stripped our masks my eyes teared up awful though. It was horrible. I must have gotten some CS in them from my cammies. Some of my platoon had to direct me to the place we stripped down. But I wasn't freaked about it! I just couldn't see.

Gonna wrap this up and send it. Don't want too long of a letter to be discovered and confiscated.

P.S. Our drill is way improving.

Training Day 12

2007-03-02T10:38:00.000-06:00

I received an inadvertent compliment from the new DI today. She was telling off the rest of the platoon when I was the only one volunteering to answer test question, and DI Sgt. Goodman goes, "Someone else besides Snider, 'cause it looks she's the only one that's going to graduate."

We did an obstacle course today – everything from leaping over logs five feet up to climbing a wall, ropes, flipping ourselves over bars, etc. It was very tough! A lot of people – actually everyone but three – didn't finish. I made it to the very last ropes obstacle, but Sgt. Sagullo had made me do the wall like four times because other recruits kept messing up, so I was too tired to climb the final 20 ft. rope. Oh well.

Can you do another mass letter? Just to let people know how I'm doing, that I can't write back and am very sorry about that, and thanks A LOT for the birthday letters.

When we 'muster' – which mean march anywhere – we wear our full muster war gear. This is a hefty harness w/ canteens, a moonbeam (flashlight), a glow strip for visibility, and a butt pack and drill belt with a poncho in it. We even take this to church. Yesterday in church religious ed we started The Shoes of the Fisherman – a very long movie. It was a blast. We get 4 hours square away time on Sundays, most of which I spend in religious ed and church. Worth it!!! You're away from the DIs. The Catholics get back last and we always return to exhausted-looking recruits, freshly scuzzed (cleaned/scrubbed) floors, racks that have been made and unmade and made and unmade for no real reason, etc. I'm happy I miss all of that. Go religion!

Training Day 9

2007-03-01T16:09:00.001-06:00

MCMAP (martial arts training) is great. We learned how to fall properly, that loud dramatic way martial arts people have of doing it that makes it not hurt. I can now leap forward, somersault before I hit the floor and roll up onto my feet.

Sunday: Day after Training Day 5

2007-02-28T12:00:00.000-06:00

Today is not a Training Day. Please make sure to pass along from these letters anything you want, because I only have time to write to one person and only barely that.

All recruits look forward to three things: chow, church and hygiene. We get about an hour a day also to square ourselves away, and this time is often taken away because someone was stupid so we scuzz (sweep the floor with small hand brushes) instead. That sounds like this:

DI: Scuzz brush to bulkhead! (wall)
Us: Scuzz brush to bulkhead aye ma'am good evening ladies!
DI: Ready?
Us: Pain!
DI: Move!
Us: Discipline!

For church on Sundays we get a huge block of free morning square away time. I use mine to iron my cammies, fix myself, then go to religious education and then Mass.

Things are very hard but much better. The initial shock has worn off and things are falling into perspective. At first we'd wake up the first few days just trembling, but now it's not really any big deal.

Training Day 4

2007-02-27T13:31:00.000-06:00

Samek's (that my rack mate) and my crowning moment yesterday night was finding extra lunches. Sometimes we don't go to chow hall; we get these box lunches that have – always – one small sandwich, a pear, an under-ripe orange, two celery sticks and two small carrots, one hard boiled egg, and one granola bar. So my bunkie and I are the GI recruits, meaning we take out the trash all the time. We were told to take like 11 boxes of them to the trash. So we stole all the granola bars and are trading them for favors.

Yesterday we did some more martial arts training and we got to beat up and stab dummies with our rifle butts and bayonets, while screaming either inanely or "Marine Corps!" We had to march a few miles to get to the training area.

People don't talk about boot camp for the same reason you don't talk about war: there either isn't anything to talk about or there is too much. It can't be explained – you'd have to be there. I can't tell you what it's really like here because it sounds awful and abusive but it's really not. You sort of shut down, and scream "aye ma'am" and "no ma'am" as loud as you can and that's all.

I do like it here but it is really hard; please continue to send letters. I won't be writing for a little while now I think because I need to study and practice my rifle drills.

Training Day 3

2007-02-26T10:05:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe I've only been here a weekish, and not either forever or just got here.

At boot camp, there are only two different levels of voice: "Shut your fat mouth" and "Open your stupid mouths." There are two separate speeds – "fly" / "step it out" and "DO NOT RUN." All of our gear is "trash". There are no pronouns – recruits don't get those. They are disgusting creatures, all civilian-y, and the only difference between us and civilians is we once thought, "I might be able to become a Marine."

The days are very regular so don't be too shocked at a lack of content here. The recruits wake up at 3:45 a.m. and during the night is the only time we have a watch because we take two-hour rifle security watch posts. That report sounds like: "Good evening ma'am! Recruit Snider and Recruit Samek reporting as rifle security watch for Platoon 4000. There are 58 M16-A2 service rifles properly secured to the racks and on safe. There are 58 seabags properly secured in the containment area. There are 58 footlockers properly secured. There are 56 USMC recruits asleep in their racks and 2 on rifle security watch. Today is Training Day 3. Good evening, ma'am."

It becomes easy to memorize MASS amounts of knowledge verbatim when you yell it constantly while going place to place.

DI: The three types of flags.
Recruits: Ma'am, the 3 types of flags are storm, post and garrison, ma'am!

Etc.

We all look like we have chicken pox because of the gnat and flea bites. Dozens and dozens of pink itchy spots. You put hand sanitizer on it, on everything, because it's easy to get infected here. My hands and arms are covered in cuts and bruises from grabbing and moving heavy things and my rifle quickly all the time. Everyone's fingers are bandaged. The DIs congratulate each other each time they get a recruit to 'drop' (to say she wants to go home) but doing so is a long and awful process. I guess that's the DIs job though.

After we got up today, we dressed Marine boot camp style – "Put on your boots. 30-29-28-27-" etc. for each item. The countdown is as fast as the numbers can be said. Then we went to PT – an exhausting time, I assure you.

There are classes 'n' stuff. Write more later. Love!! Keep sending gossip!

Training Day 2

2007-02-23T11:52:00.000-06:00

I'm writing this on an exercise machine because this morning I was told … never mind, that was too hard. I'm doing better than before, but I got in trouble hardcore and may not graduate in time. Please ask Gunny if I might not get my MOS if I don't graduate on Jan. 12 or if it is locked. I wrote a lot of letters and didn't seal them, then accidentally left my footlocker open and the DIs found them. In one I wrote (jokingly) to tell Gunny to fuck off for sending me here. Now DI Sgt. Sagullo says she's putting me on rifle watch, (where you walk a post around our M16 rifles and keep them secured) and not letting me PT so that "you'll fail the PST (physical fitness test)". I have no free time now 'cause I'll be using it to study and PT so I don't fail, but ask anyway.

PLEASE LETTERS!!!!!

Tell people I'm stressed but having fun, and to write but I can't write back. I'm on the DIs 'destroy' list – they tear up my things and my bed and stuff, not other recruits – because of my footlocker and letters.

We drill a lot – in formations and marching, and are starting to attend etiquette, history and martial arts classes. We sound off ditties (like 'pick them up' and 'BOOT TOP HIGH!') during marches.

I'm homesick but enjoying myself. I'm in the rack (bed) closest to the DI door, so I don't get away with shit. Every morning they wake us up and we have 20 sec to get on line @ attention, then they count backwards from 100 as fast as possible, and all 59 girls have to be out of the heads (bathrooms) by then. I never make it! I wake up 20 mins earlier at 3:40 to go then. We do a lot of repetition – making all the racks in 5 mins then tearing them up and making them again. We call out "knowledge" (we'll be tested later) in formation (like "Ma'am, discipline is the instant willing obedience to all orders, self- reliance, and team work Ma'am.")

I'm trying to keep my head down.

First Letter

2007-02-23T11:51:00.000-06:00

In very shaky and hurried writing...

Dear Mom:

I'm sneaking this letter in; we aren't allowed to write home yet. Might not get to you. Can't keep a diary -- way too busy. We are on Friday Forming Day One. VERY HARD! Please email Mack at [email address]. Tell him I am having a really hard time and need him not to send what he was going to send. I really need encouragement letters.

Love you. Bye.