This will probably be my last letter since there isn't much more to write about. I welcomed in the New Year by converting to Catholicism, which is exciting. We just have a few more things left and that's it for us. 171 question test, final drill, prac app test (over first aid) and the Battalion Commander's inspection. I'm not too worried about any of them.
I'm looking forward to visiting, though I have no idea what to do with my uniforms and stuff. I also can't wait to get to my MOS school and then to my first duty station. I'm going to try to get stationed in the base in Okinawa, Japan. I hear it's pretty deployable, though, but that doesn't really matter. We're all going to go to war no matter where we're stationed, except for the bitches who go get pregnant so they don't have to go, and then a good Marine has to go in their place.
That doesn't make sense to me. Marines belong with Marines; it doesn't matter where you are, or if you're alive, or if you're dead; your brothers and sisters will make sure you stay with them, where you ought to be.
Now that it's almost over, I'm looking back and I remember when it was TD5 and I looked forward to now and thought it was an impossible, long way away and I'd made a mistake joining. Now I'm glad I joined. I'm getting to look at the world in the way I wanted to look at it but couldn't easily describe. Yea, not all Marines are perfect or how I expected, but some are, and that's what I'm here for - the intangibles that your recruiter can't bribe you with. I'm here for John Basilone, who died for his buddies on Iwo Jima, and Dan Daly who yelled the infamous, "C'mon you sons of bitches, do you want to live forever?" I'm here for the Marines who were killed when an IED blew up their convoy, and for the ones who didn't stop to think about the grenade - they jumped over it. I'm here for honor and courage and commitment, and I DO love the Marine Corps. Everything has a significance, even our seven belt loops (for the seven seas), because nothing can be considered insignificant; it might save your life somehow.
I'm also glad to be here for how we look at the war. It's easy to judge a war that you see on TV from your couch, but civilians aren't over there dying. Yes, Saddam is dead but he was only a tiny piece. They get to see all of the bad things that happen but the media doesn't cover anything good. They'll show our mistakes in a heartbeat but not the schools that are being built, not how we are training their troops, they don't see how hard we work; they want us home and we want to be home, but that's not how the world is, and when we adapted and overcame, they sat on their butts and bitched about it.
So who is really wrong here?
Oltman out, yo.
Training Day 58. Post Crucible.
There are many things that can and cannot be said about the Crucible, but now I understand why, when we asked senior platoons what is was like, all they would say is, "It's an experience."
On one hand, it wasn't what I expected. Somehow I expected it to be…harder? No. While you were doing the events you sometimes thought, "I thought it would be harder," but looking back I realize that was only due to sheer adrenaline, because we are all broke off, exhausted, and ready to do it again.
You did everything in teams of 18-22 people, each of which had one DI and one recruit as team leaders. The DIs mostly weren't DIs, just regular Marines mostly - they lost their DI mask for the event and it was cool. The teams themselves were picked alphabetically, so there I am as Teams 1 and 2 get assigned, listening for my name for Team 3, "Ledwell, Minck, Munoz, O'Keefe, Peters, Polodna…" I'm like, "Wait, where's my name?" Turns out there was a special Team 6, run by both Senior DIs from Platoons 4000 and 4001, comprised of the top nine of each platoon. As SDI Sgt Renteria said, "Now this team is obviously stacked." Us: "AYE Ma'am!" Renteria: "They said I had to have a team, and I don't want any drama. You know what to do, so get it done."
Them basically they let us do our thing, and with handpicked members it was AWESOME. The whole Crucible is like a combo of the Obstacle Course, the Confidence Course, endurance courses and hiking trails, except all the events are taller, higher, longer, and harder. Several of your teammates are 'casualties;' we have weapons and gear and have to cross the events with ammo cans, water jugs, barrels and people in stretchers.
The hardest part is that it just went on and on and on. Each day consisted of 19 1/2 hours of patrolling, climbing, hoisting each other, and crawling under barbed wire and through sand. One half hour was "field weapons maintenance." The remaining 4 hours were called "sleep time" but all that really meant is that the lights were out and we were tactical (silent with hand signals) while we reapplied cammie paint, fixed our gear and our feet, ate our limited MREs, took 30 minute rifle watches, made head calls and talked (um, tactically?). We were all exhausted, yes, but you sort of get to where you're so busy you don't notice.
It.
Was.
Awesome.
So both nights were 23:00 - 3:00 minus getting ready and packing our gear time. The last morning was a quick 10-mile hump back to the squad bay to Warriors Breakfast. Basically, it's what the males get to eat, only awesome! Real bacon, sausage, ice cream, hot chocolate, cake, bagels, muffins, omelets … soooo gooood.
So a lot of the other teams were extremely jealous that we had both SDIs AND the Gunny. We got candy (once) and they thought we had it really easy because the DIs weren't being that hard on us. This was totally untrue, though. They weren't that hard on us because we were doing EXCEPTIONAL though the Crucible - unlike any other team, we were completing nearly every obstacle within the time limits (female recruits usually don't). And we were doing exceptional because, think about it. The team representing the Senior Drill Instructors and the Series Gunnery Sgt HAS to do well. There was no other option for us if we didn't want to DIE later at the hands of the DIs for not impressing their bosses. We literally ran our asses off, but while we were more physically broke off than the other groups, I will say that they could be jealous of us mentally. No drama in our team, no bickering, positive attitudes all around. We were loving it.
The second day we did pugil sticks against Team 5, and I have never seen such aggressive behavior. SDI warns us "I don't want to see any wussy fights" and then we notice all these officers are out to watch - the Series Commander 1st Lt. Griswold, the Company Commander Captain Hasley, the Company 1st Sgt. Sanderson, Gunny Hilton and both SDIs. So we knew we had to put on a show. And we did. The officers were LOVING it. We beat the shit out of each other.
On one hand, it wasn't what I expected. Somehow I expected it to be…harder? No. While you were doing the events you sometimes thought, "I thought it would be harder," but looking back I realize that was only due to sheer adrenaline, because we are all broke off, exhausted, and ready to do it again.
You did everything in teams of 18-22 people, each of which had one DI and one recruit as team leaders. The DIs mostly weren't DIs, just regular Marines mostly - they lost their DI mask for the event and it was cool. The teams themselves were picked alphabetically, so there I am as Teams 1 and 2 get assigned, listening for my name for Team 3, "Ledwell, Minck, Munoz, O'Keefe, Peters, Polodna…" I'm like, "Wait, where's my name?" Turns out there was a special Team 6, run by both Senior DIs from Platoons 4000 and 4001, comprised of the top nine of each platoon. As SDI Sgt Renteria said, "Now this team is obviously stacked." Us: "AYE Ma'am!" Renteria: "They said I had to have a team, and I don't want any drama. You know what to do, so get it done."
Them basically they let us do our thing, and with handpicked members it was AWESOME. The whole Crucible is like a combo of the Obstacle Course, the Confidence Course, endurance courses and hiking trails, except all the events are taller, higher, longer, and harder. Several of your teammates are 'casualties;' we have weapons and gear and have to cross the events with ammo cans, water jugs, barrels and people in stretchers.
The hardest part is that it just went on and on and on. Each day consisted of 19 1/2 hours of patrolling, climbing, hoisting each other, and crawling under barbed wire and through sand. One half hour was "field weapons maintenance." The remaining 4 hours were called "sleep time" but all that really meant is that the lights were out and we were tactical (silent with hand signals) while we reapplied cammie paint, fixed our gear and our feet, ate our limited MREs, took 30 minute rifle watches, made head calls and talked (um, tactically?). We were all exhausted, yes, but you sort of get to where you're so busy you don't notice.
It.
Was.
Awesome.
So both nights were 23:00 - 3:00 minus getting ready and packing our gear time. The last morning was a quick 10-mile hump back to the squad bay to Warriors Breakfast. Basically, it's what the males get to eat, only awesome! Real bacon, sausage, ice cream, hot chocolate, cake, bagels, muffins, omelets … soooo gooood.
So a lot of the other teams were extremely jealous that we had both SDIs AND the Gunny. We got candy (once) and they thought we had it really easy because the DIs weren't being that hard on us. This was totally untrue, though. They weren't that hard on us because we were doing EXCEPTIONAL though the Crucible - unlike any other team, we were completing nearly every obstacle within the time limits (female recruits usually don't). And we were doing exceptional because, think about it. The team representing the Senior Drill Instructors and the Series Gunnery Sgt HAS to do well. There was no other option for us if we didn't want to DIE later at the hands of the DIs for not impressing their bosses. We literally ran our asses off, but while we were more physically broke off than the other groups, I will say that they could be jealous of us mentally. No drama in our team, no bickering, positive attitudes all around. We were loving it.
The second day we did pugil sticks against Team 5, and I have never seen such aggressive behavior. SDI warns us "I don't want to see any wussy fights" and then we notice all these officers are out to watch - the Series Commander 1st Lt. Griswold, the Company Commander Captain Hasley, the Company 1st Sgt. Sanderson, Gunny Hilton and both SDIs. So we knew we had to put on a show. And we did. The officers were LOVING it. We beat the shit out of each other.
Christmas Day. Training Day 54.
Merry Christmas Mom and Dad! Boot camp ends in just two and a half weeks, and it's kinda weird. They say that we'll all suffer from boot camp withdrawal, and I believe it. I'm already feeling fat and lazy with this holiday and that was only two days of the DIs giving us a half-break. Imagine NO DIs! We got five hours - four in the morning and one in the evening - on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to watch movies, pack for the Crucible, shower, square ourselves away, AND got good chow AND an extra 1 1/2 hours of sleep AND the DIs are relaxed AND we haven't PTed or exercised or gotten quarterdecked or drilled, and I'm bored out of my mind. I'm totally ready to do SOMETHING but after the Crucible boot camp is pretty much winding down.
You know what I'll really miss is hearing the DIs sing to their platoons. It's the best in the mornings. We get out of the house and form it up on the catwalk; it's early morning and all dark and quiet, and a little chilly, and all across the island you can hear the drill instructors singing the cadence ("left…left…left, right" only it sounds like "loeft…loeft… a-loeft right..a loeft right…"), a lot of voices far away singing and calling their platoons. It's kind of … I'm not sure how to explain it. When you're in formation you listen to that one voice, even if another DI calls a command nearby you have to know whether to respond or not, and it's this stability thing. They say, "Drill is about discipline. If you have discipline you can drill" but it's also about trust. That voice has the singular control over 59 bodies, 59 bodies who respond immediately and without question to the voice's calls. The DI calls from behind the platoon, so if we're getting closer and closer to something, we have to trust that the DI knows when to turn us. Drill teaches instance obedience without question - you hear the order and execute it, because just like REAL orders, if you don't you'll mess up the formation, and then go and get your buddies killed in Iraq.
I can see why most Marines don't like most female Marines. A lot of my platoon doesn't really take things seriously -- gaffing off drill, falling asleep in class, not being really into land nav - I guess what the DIs say is really true: A lot of us are going to get into the fleet and make it only because a male carried our packs.
Not me.
You know what I'll really miss is hearing the DIs sing to their platoons. It's the best in the mornings. We get out of the house and form it up on the catwalk; it's early morning and all dark and quiet, and a little chilly, and all across the island you can hear the drill instructors singing the cadence ("left…left…left, right" only it sounds like "loeft…loeft… a-loeft right..a loeft right…"), a lot of voices far away singing and calling their platoons. It's kind of … I'm not sure how to explain it. When you're in formation you listen to that one voice, even if another DI calls a command nearby you have to know whether to respond or not, and it's this stability thing. They say, "Drill is about discipline. If you have discipline you can drill" but it's also about trust. That voice has the singular control over 59 bodies, 59 bodies who respond immediately and without question to the voice's calls. The DI calls from behind the platoon, so if we're getting closer and closer to something, we have to trust that the DI knows when to turn us. Drill teaches instance obedience without question - you hear the order and execute it, because just like REAL orders, if you don't you'll mess up the formation, and then go and get your buddies killed in Iraq.
I can see why most Marines don't like most female Marines. A lot of my platoon doesn't really take things seriously -- gaffing off drill, falling asleep in class, not being really into land nav - I guess what the DIs say is really true: A lot of us are going to get into the fleet and make it only because a male carried our packs.
Not me.
Christmas Eve, Training Day 54 (almost)
Happy Holidays! Today has been a pretty lazy and laid back day. First church, then we got cammie stockings to hang on our racks from some parent, and then we watched The Incredibles.
We had a few movies to pick from and Senior DI was like, Alright, I'm going to let you watch the one that gets the loudest 'Aye ma'am'" and went on to mention that The Incredibles was "an awesome movie" so what other one would we pick? Of course we screamed for that one, and she even broke her bearing and smiled.
Then we made her a throne out of footlockers and blankets.
SDI: … What the hell is that?
Us: A throne, ma'am.
SDI: ……..
Us: *giggling*
SDI: I don't need a throne. I have a throne everywhere I walk.
Us: AYE ma'am!
We could tell she liked it, though.
We had a few movies to pick from and Senior DI was like, Alright, I'm going to let you watch the one that gets the loudest 'Aye ma'am'" and went on to mention that The Incredibles was "an awesome movie" so what other one would we pick? Of course we screamed for that one, and she even broke her bearing and smiled.
Then we made her a throne out of footlockers and blankets.
SDI: … What the hell is that?
Us: A throne, ma'am.
SDI: ……..
Us: *giggling*
SDI: I don't need a throne. I have a throne everywhere I walk.
Us: AYE ma'am!
We could tell she liked it, though.
Training Day 52
It is wet and cold and all of our things are soaked. Our barracks here at A-line are half outdoors so that doesn't help matters. Nonetheless, spirits are high. We went to the range again, but instead of firing our M16s, we fired 2 other weapons. The first was an AT4, this bazooka like rocket-launcher that actually wasn't nearly as cool as it looked. The second, though - oh God, the second. This beautiful gun was called an M249. It's about the same size as the M16 though not nearly as pretty. It fires automatically. We were supposed to fire in couple-second bursts, but after a little I got carried away and just shot all my rounds off continuously. The range officers thought this was hysterical. I think they found me refreshing, as most of the other girls were firing in 1-2 burst shots.
Who, when given a SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon, aka machine gun), fires only 1-2 rounds in one burst? It was AWESOME!
Who, when given a SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon, aka machine gun), fires only 1-2 rounds in one burst? It was AWESOME!
Training Day 47
Actually Training Day 47 ish-51 ish. It's A-line, where we fire combat-style. I actually don't like it as much as marksmanship but it's still fun. We shoot in full gear - kevlars, flak jackets, full muster war gear - which makes it awkward at best. My flak jacket is way too huge so it's weird. And heavy.
Training Day 46
DI Sgt. Collins is back from her leave and it's great because she is awesome. She's super-strict but in a good way. Some DI's make you do stupid things, but when she does shit to us you can see the reason for it and you learn from it. Yesterday and the day before we had three extra DIs. One's still at DI School, training. It was INSANE. We spent the entire square away time frozen because people in my platoon are idiots. The extra DIs didn't let us get away with shit. It was totally cool. I was mostly squared away but they did call me on the Irish Pendants (little strings and threads) on my cammies.
I'm looking forward to seeing you guys. I have a stress fracture in my foot that is KILLING me but I'm not saying shit. I'm 90% certain that stress fractures are automatic drops and not a snowball's chance in hell am I letting myself drop. I just suck it up and roll my foot when I walk. The DI's haven't said anything yet.
I'm looking forward to seeing you guys. I have a stress fracture in my foot that is KILLING me but I'm not saying shit. I'm 90% certain that stress fractures are automatic drops and not a snowball's chance in hell am I letting myself drop. I just suck it up and roll my foot when I walk. The DI's haven't said anything yet.
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